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Introduction

A recent Threads conversation sparked a debate that stopped me in my tracks:

“Nothing more sad than a woman buying herself flowers.”

At first glance, I understood the sentiment. Flowers have long been associated with romance, affection, and being thought of by someone else. There is something tender about wanting to feel cherished by the people we love.

But as a florist, and more importantly as a woman, I see flowers differently.

I responded:

“It’s more sad to wait for someone to buy them for you. Single or married.”

And honestly, I still stand by that.

Because for many women, flowers are not simply about romance. They are ritual. Therapy. Flower Therapy to be exact. Celebration. Art. Presence. A moment of softness in a hard week. A reminder that beauty still exists even in exhaustion, grief, healing, transition, or loneliness.

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Why I Still Buy Myself Flowers Even Though I’m a Florist

One thing people may find surprising is this:

I am a florist. An Indianapolis florist to be exact. I have access to flowers from all over the world. Rare blooms. Specialty varieties. Flowers most people have never even heard of before. Every week I handle thousands of stems.

And yet, I will still routinely walk into another flower shop and buy myself a bouquet or floral arrangement. 9/10x I never reveal that I am a florist.

Not because I need flowers.

Because it brings me genuine joy. It brings me absolute joy to go in a floral market, flower farm, or flower shop, peruse at each stem, take in the fragrance of roses or lilac, and pick the stems that catch my eye. I truly believe buying yourself flowers is one of the highest forms of self care.

There is something completely different about experiencing flowers as the recipient instead of the designer. I love studying how another florist sees color, movement, texture, and composition. I love seeing what they are drawn to creatively.

Sometimes I buy flowers simply because someone wrapped them beautifully. Sometimes it is the emotional experience of walking through the cooler and discovering something unexpected. For instance this beautiful breed of garden roses that stopped me dead in my tracks. Other times, I will simply purchase because Im captivated by the scent.

It feels less like shopping and more like allowing myself to experience beauty without needing to produce it.

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Flowers Mean More Than Romance

There is something deeply intentional about walking into a flower market, studying color palettes, touching textures, selecting stems one by one, having them wrapped, and carrying them home.

That experience can feel grounding. Sacred, even.

Sometimes flowers are:

• “I survived this week.”
• “I deserve beauty too.”
• “My home deserves life.”
• “I need something soft today.”
• “I want something pretty to look at.” • “I want to be surrounded by beauty and life.”
• “I am worthy of nice things.”
• “I need something soft today.”
• “I want to romanticize my own existence.”

And truthfully, I think we have to be careful about attaching emotional deficiency or validation from another person to self care. This is something that I have been actively working on in myself especially even more since becoming a florist.

Women are constantly taught that receiving is more meaningful than giving to ourselves. That joy somehow counts more when it comes from another person especially a romantic partner.

But why?

Why should beauty only be valid if someone else purchases it for us?

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My Perspective as a Florist

As florists, we witness this every day.

Some women receive extravagant bouquets from partners and barely look at them. Other women come into flower shops alone and spend twenty minutes thoughtfully selecting stems that genuinely bring them joy.

Neither experience is wrong.

But I reject the idea that self tenderness is sad.

In the thread, the original poster later clarified his perspective. He explained that the sadness was not in the flowers themselves, but in the emotional longing behind them. The desire to receive affection, romance, or thoughtfulness from someone you love.

And honestly? That makes sense too.

Humans want connection. We want to feel seen.

But I also think two things can exist at once:

You can desire love from others and still learn how to love yourself well in the meantime.

Flowers have taught me that. This is what I call self care flowers.

They taught me to notice and appreciate beauty.
To slow down.
To celebrate moments that no one else sees.
To create joy instead of waiting for permission to experience it.

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Final Thoughts

This is why floristry resonates so deeply with so many women.

Flowers are emotional storytellers. They hold memory, comfort, celebration, grief, hope, romance, softness, and healing all at once.

So no, I do not think buying yourself flowers is sad.

I think denying yourself beauty until someone else decides you deserve it is far sadder.

Buy the flowers.

Buy the expensive ranunculus.
Buy the grocery store tulips.
Buy the stems from the local farmer’s market.
Wrap them in brown paper.
Place them beside your bed. Set them on your dining room table.

Let them remind you that care does not always have to arrive from someone else to still be meaningful.

And if someone does buy you flowers someday?

Beautiful.

But until then, your life is still worthy of beauty now.

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— Roberta
Founder, Hiawathia Floral Design Co.